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between-two-fandoms · 4 years ago

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Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so, and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been. Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

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miphastudies · 4 years ago

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17 Questions for 17 People

Thanks @its-bianca for tagging me in this! Sorry it’s taken so long, we’re in a third lockdown and I’m pretty sure my body thinks that time no longer exists.

Nicknames: Kim, Kimbo, Kimberlim, Kimothy, Kimberley Dibberley (For some reason my family thought that a nickname based off Cat’s other personality from Red Dwarf, Dwayne Dibberley, was funny and it’s stuck with me my whole life), as well as KIIII (shouted by my sister when she was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce my name, my best friend now yells it when she wants my attention) and Kim-Kim by my Dad who refuses to believe I’ve grown up (beats Kimberley Dibberley any day)

Height: 5'9 - towering over most men is fun, I suggest it to all of you, I’d rather round it up to six foot, but I probs stopped growing at 20.

Hogwarts House: Well I got Gryffindor when I first went on that site, but being my goth self I had to take the test again until I got Slytherin - as far as I remember I had unicorn hair (or horn?) or something of the like in my wand but I’m not gonna fuel JK’s anti-trans pockets by visiting Pottermore ever again.

Last thing I googled: The soundtrack for Futurama’s Luck of the Fryrish episode, I knew Simple Minds were on it but I could’ve sworn Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was on it, but apparently not. I spent a good half hour trying to sing it into google with their new song-analysis thing to no avail, so I ended up siphoning through all the songs Lisa Simpson has ever played on her Sax to find out what it was (I should be doing my dissertation proposal but my tutors haven’t got back to me yet so what can ye do).

Song stuck in my head: yknow wha I’m just gonna list the songs that have been stuck in my head so far today because it’s too many to be just one as I keep cycling through them (also gonna link them so you can see how garbo weird my music taste is)

Run - Joji Alive - Pearl Jam Clinging On For Life - The Hoosiers Tension - Avenged Sevenfold Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan Nutshell - Alice in Chains Jaded - Aerosmith The Sea of Tragic Beasts - Fit For an Autopsy

I’ll add my current favourite at the bottom too for good measure (Honestly I spend way too much time listening to music and I regret nothing)

Number of followers: Currently 85. I’ve got about 2k on my main blog but I’ve not touched that since July 2017.

Amount of sleep: Good lord, so I aim for 8 hours, sometimes I only get 5.5 or something along those lines, other times I depression nap during the day and can’t sleep at all, sometimes (like this morning) I’ll go to get up at a normal person time such as 9am when my body naturally wakes me up, but it’s so dark and gloomy outside and cold in my room that I just stay in bed and end up accidentally falling back asleep. 12pm gang rise up xo

Lucky number: 7

Dream Job: Hopefully I get somewhat successful in monetising my hobbies, I’m working on it all atm (I don’t know why but I really hate telling people about my plans because I’m deathly afraid they’ll mock me or do whatever they can to ensure it doesn’t happen, I’ve got this list of things I need to do for my own mental health sellotaped to my laptop stand that had things like when to clean the house, do my laundry, shower, exercise etc, and my old flatmate/friend saw it the other week and mocked me, so I haven’t followed it since and need to find some sort of other way of organising my life instead). But yeah, hopefully hobby based, I don’t want to be stuck in an office job all my life, and I want to leave the UK (although I don’t want to leave my family) so hopefully I’ll be successful enough to bring em all with me.

Wearing: Well I was gonna wear jeans and my Unus Annus longsleeve but I decided to go full kitchen witch and wear this black milkmaid looking dress with long sleeves that I’d bought for work when I got my thigh tattoo started (all the old men appreciated the legs but I didn’t make any more tips, oops)

Favourite song: My favourite song of all time would be The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony , the band formed at my college, has great meaning and has resonated with me since I first saw the music video after it was played at my Stepdad’s funeral in 2002. Weirdly enough on my last day of college, right after my last exam, I went to get the bus home - put my Spotify on shuffle (bearing in mind I’ve got 805 songs on this playlist) and this came on straight away. That’s probably not important to most people, but being pagan, I like to think that small things like these are signs from loved ones that have since passed. Not too happy that it’s used as the England Rugby theme because it gives me anxiety every time as though I feel like everyone hearing it doesn’t have the same emotional connection with the song as I do, but idk. I saw Richard Ashcroft live and he played this and I legit bawled my eyes out in public, safe to say I’ll try and hold it in next time. I suggest you all have a listen to the song or even watch the music video for it, it’s the most simple but most meaningful music video to me.

Favourite Instrument: I’m left handed and I had this Yamaha acoustic guitar that my stepdad gave me - and taught me to play when I was about 5, a few months before he died (it’s still weird to me that I had no idea he had cancer at that point and instead spent his last few months teaching me his favourite hobbies) all he had was right handed guitars, so he taught me to play Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters upside down on this 20 odd year old right handed acoustic. He hadn’t played upside down himself before but did it so I could see what he was doing. I remember sitting in our green living room on the couch with him moving my hands to the right position (I don’t know where my mum was in this scenario, probably in the kitchen). He’d brought this guitar with him the first day I met him, it was probably like 11pm but I was 4 and thought it was 3am or something, but I heard voices coming from the living room and had gone to investigate - there sat my mum and my stepdad having Chinese on the living room floor, laughing together, my stepdad saw me and had brought sweets for me and my brother for when we woke up, but he beckoned me over, gave me a lollipop, stuck a two litre bottle of tizer in front of me and told me to dip the lollipop in the drink and lick it (not a good idea as I would’ve been bouncing off the walls, but I think I must’ve had a sugar crash and fallen asleep). My mum had no idea he was coming as he’d sneakily been texting her, asking what her favourite drink was, her favourite food and flowers etc, after they met in a pub when my mum was at a hostel with my brother after my Dad had taken me. My mum told him that the council had given her a place and he decided to show up and surprise her with all her favourite things and play guitar for her after my brother and I had gone to bed, I don’t remember much time passing before we’d moved into his house (where my mum and her new husband live to this day), but they got married a few months later and I still can’t play that Metallica song (I did try to teach myself more of it though). I also had this black left handed Ibanez prestige that my Dad got me for Christmas about 9 years ago, I could play quite a lot on it but eventually just stopped. Very good at piano though.

Aesthetic: I’m not sure what this entails but I’m a sucker for neon/RGB/cityscapes and that type of malarkey. Also space. Love da space. Also whatever Cornwall would be considered as. Cottagecore? I think that’s only an animal crossing related aesthetic but I’m claiming it nonetheless.

Favourite Author: I’m a big goth so it has to be Stephen King by default. I’ve got copious first editions of his books from the 70′s and 80′s that my Mum bought when she was a teen. At my flat I’ve got Carrie, Christine, Salem’s Lot, Misery and The Shining first editions and the others are in my room at my Mum’s house. I don’t tend to read for joy like I used to, or write for fun either but I’m hoping I do more in 2021. Currently reading The Outsider by King, it sounds eerily familiar to a novel I wrote for coursework in college in 2014 and I’m half pressed to think he’s stole my brain ideas. I’m watching you Stephen. Always watching. Always.

Favourite animal sounds: I don’t have favourite sounds, but my husky Nanook is my favourite animal because he’s dumb and I love him. Also Kookaburra sounds are terrifying and you all should go listen to what a koala sounds like. When I go to Adelaide (hopefully this year, if not next) I am NOT stepping foot in a nature reserve unless I’ve got an anti-kookaburra noise suit on. They obviously don’t exist so I’m gonna have to make one.

Random: I’m part of a viking reenactment group where they use actual swords and fight each other, and we have to basically sign our lives away when we join, to say that if we die, it’s not the groups fault. I don’t actually do the fighting though, I’m part of the villager group, so I do all the crafting and food making and most of the teaching when we do shows. I’ve not yet been to a show as I’ve had uni to go to, but my parents, sister and brother do - They stayed within Whitby Abbey last year during the Viking festival where everyone did the show and the adults got drunk round campfires in the castle grounds. Zacky Vengeance once complimented my shirt if that’s something. I’m also colourblind, got glared at by Liam Gallagher in the Liverpool Echo Arena parking lot and have too accurate a sense of smell.

Sorry this was so long, obviously I felt like word-dumping and my brain has a lot to say as I find too much meaning in these things. Thanks again for tagging me! I’ve not got 17 people to tag as I don’t interact with anyone at the moment but I’ll come back to this and add people as the week progresses :)

#tagged #personal #asks

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fangirlingnextgen · 7 years ago

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Hell can look appealing (part 1)

A/N: Finallyyyyy it is here! It’s probably not the best fic to start with the next gen, probably because I started it months ago and finished only now smb. And I tried to edit that shit but tumblr refuses to save it so sorry for the mistakes I left, not my fault

And most of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASHEWWW LOVE YOU ❤💙💚💛💜💖

December 17th

POV Maxime

Mom has no limit. We all know that. I spent my childhood keeping that in mind… But she still finds a way to surprise me.

It’s a nice Monday morning. I quietly take my shower, enjoying that for once Lex is not here to steal the hot water. Since she was fired from high school, she has been living like a recluse. She eats at 3am and spends her day in front of TV, watching some stupid series or playing video games. That’s why I forced her to go with me to the palace this weekend. But it didn’t end up very well. She still refuses to talk about what happened with Brandon, she keeps saying there was nothing. She’s such a bad liar. Everybody saw how they were both acting weird during the breakfast yesterday.

I am shampooing my awful curly/not so curly hair when I get an idea about what could have happened between them. “No way! No way!” Stop your brain Max, they didn’t have sex ! You are insane. Even a drunk Lex wouldn’t do that. She’s not insane enough to lose her virginity with a guy she hates… right?

Someone suddenly opens the shower curtain. I let out a cry.

“I heard you scream, everything’s fine?” Mom asks as if it was perfectly normal to show up in the middle of my shower.

“MOM I’M NAKED.”

She blinks, still holding the shower curtain. “I can see that. By the way you should stop wearing your awful sports bras which press your chest. You have a beautiful tits, sweetie.”

“MOM STOP IT’S VERY AWKWARD. DAD TELL HER TO LEAVE!” As I guessed, he’s behind the door, I can hear his muffled voice answer : “I WON’T ENTER TO FORCE YOUR MOTHER TO LEAVE. DEAL WITH IT MAX.”

It’s finally Lex who comes, looking particularly mad. “WHO DECIDED TO INTERRUPT MY SLEEP? I WAS HAVING A GREAT DREAM!”

Why do we always have to scream in this family?

“THE BREAKFAST IS GONNA BURN!” Dad suddenly shouts. The reaction is quite quick. Mom and Lex run out of the bathroom. I sigh in relievement, internally thanking dad for helping me to get rid of them.

I take all my time to get ready for school. I don’t want to go in math. This class is so boring, especially without Lex. Together we always try to annoy the teacher enough to be kicked out of the class, and it works every time. I’m afraid of the day he’ll understand that the real punishment is to make us stay in class with him.

I go to the kitchen and see mom and Lex fighting to have the bacon. I shake my head, grab an apple and join dad in the living room. He’s reading the newspaper and raises his head when I enter.

“Hey, Max. Feel better?”

“They took all the bacon.” I groan. He laughs and pats the sofa. I jump on it.

“Sorry, sweetie.” He doesn’t look particularly sorry. Sadistic family. I can’t even have my bacon for breakfast now. I deserve it more than Lex. Who’s gonna go to math class? Certainly not her!

“What are the news?”

“Mila goes to Kent to promote culture among the poorest.”

“I already knew that.”

“Not my fault if there are no more rebels to be on the cover of newspapers.”

I read the article above his shoulder. I’ve always done that with dad; reading the paper every morning before going to school. This is our quiet moment, something we need if we want to survive to Mom and Lex and their usual exuberance.

A loud horn interrupts my reading. I raise my head and frown. The car seems to be in front of the house.

“WHO THE HELL DARES TO DO SUCH NOISE IN THE MORNING?” Mom and Lex scream at the same time from the kitchen. Dad and I look at each other, thinking about the same thing : the both of you. Lex runs in the corridor, ready to kick some asses. Mom follows her, her bat in her hands. God, no. Lex angry is frightening. Mom angry is even more frightening. But together ? Even Hitler would run away from them. Dad takes his cup of coffee and raises an eyebrow at me, asking if we should go out and prevent a new world war. I shake my head and bite my apple. Hearing them yelling outside is relaxing. It’s the sign everything’s okay in our family.

Until the screams come back into the house and make my ears bleed.

“You didn’t tell me your boyfriend had a car.” Lex says.

I spit my apple. “What ?”

“The car belongs to your dear Ken.” She can’t help mocking his name. I know she hates him. She hates all my boyfriends. I don’t know if it’s her natural feeling of superiority or overprotectiveness towards me, both probably. But it’s a little annoying coming from a girl who breaks up with her own boyfriends after a week or so.

I sigh and take my bag that I let near the sofa yesterday. “Can’t you stop being like that ?”

Lex raises her eyebrows. “Oh c'mon Max, even you is bored with him.”

I cross my arms. “I’m not.”

“Oh then why didn’t you run to him when I told you it was his car ?”

Okay I totally am. I’m fed up with him, with all of him. His too long hair, his hands always on my hips or my butt, his awful voice always telling uninteresting things - I often want to sleep when I am with him-, and most of all his slimy kisses. I would like to say all of that to Lex right now, but Dad is next to us, and he already heard too much.

I wave at dad and take my sister to the corridor. “You’re right.” I whisper to her.

“I’m always right.”

I roll my eyes. She is too confident about her intelligence.

“Look Max… you should break up with him.”

“It’s not that simple. He says all the time he’s in love with me!”

I am not a monster, I don’t want to break his heart or even�� get him angry. Angry is not a good option. At all.

“He’s a sixteen-year-old boy. If he’s in love with something, it’s your boobs.”

Why are people focussed on my breasts this morning ?

“If you break up with him within the end of Christmas break…” Lex suddenly starts. A deal, really ? She wants to make a deal with me ? She knows that I am the best at that game.

“You tell me what happened between Brandon and you this weekend.”

I can see she hesitates. God, it means it’s really bad. Or that she’s ashamed of it. Maybe I’m right and that they really slept together. Fuck.

“Okay.” She finally accepts. I realize at that moment how much she wants to get rid of Ken. “But I let you until New Year’s Eve in these conditions.”

Monster. I don’t answer and look through the open frontdoor. Mom plays with her baseball bat while talking to Ken, who just looks at her bored. I know I really need to bump this idiot. For too many reasons.

December 30th

POV Alexis

“We need to talk.” Dad tells me. I feel the shit coming, so I stay on my bed and put my headphones on. It seems Dad doesn’t have the patience to bear me today, he takes my mp3 and stops the music. “I am serious, Alexis.”

I sigh. “If it’s about the car…”

“Your mother and I know you didn’t burn it.” My mouth widens. For days I have been thinking they were avoiding me because of that. And actually no ?! Fuck them!

“Please, Alexis.” I cross my arms. “Your sister is already in the living room.”

I finally get up and follow him, slightly angry he waited three weeks to tell me he believed me in the burning car story. Once in the living room, I sit next to Max and wait for the parents to talk, arms crossed. Mom, who was talking to Max until I come, stands up and bites her lips. This is clearly more serious than I thought.

“Do you remember when that Swendwish scientist came to Illéa few months ago ?”

I frown and look at Max. She seems as confused as me.

“Yeah.” I answer for the both of us. “It was about a missile or I don’t know what. He wanted your advice.”

Mom nods, but looks clearly uncomfortable. It worries me, what is she going to tell us ?

“He proposed me to work with him on it. So to go to Swendway.” Mom announces quickly.

“WHAT ?!” Max and I scream.

“According to Haiden, accepting it would improve our alliance with Swendway. It would be both an Illéan and a Swendwish missile. It’s a big opportunity for our army apparently.” (Forgive me I wrote that in May ok)

What. The. Fuck. I’ve always found funny to have a mother who works for the army -it frightens everyone at school-, but now not at all.

“So did you accept?” I ask.

Mom crosses her arms. The worst is coming. “I was about to say no. But this is a big opportunity for my career…”

And now we have to follow her in Swendway. Great.

“Since when is your career more important than your family?” I scoff.

I can see at her face that I hurt her, but I couldn’t stop the words. I’m still angry about the car story. And when I’m angry I act like a bitch.

“It’s not, Alexis. I hesitated a long time… But you’re both old enough now I think.”

“Old enough for what?” Max frowns, confused. “To follow you abroad?”

“To live without us.” Dad ends.

Max and I glance at each other.

“Okay what have you planned exactly?”

Mom and Dad look at each other until Dad decides to talk.

“We knew you wouldn’t want to leave and had several ideas, including your grandmother coming here to stay with you…” Oh no, not Grandma. She’s worse than Aunt Andrea. “But we thought about something which should advantage everyone.” Advantage everyone ? I doubt it. If he was right, he wouldn’t take so many precautions to tell us. “You’ll live in the palace until we come back.”

We could think that I would be the one who would scream first, because I always complain, but no. It’s Max.

“The palace?! Why the palace? What about high school? I have swimming competitions in few weeks!”

Dad pats her shoulder. “Max, we talked to the principal, you can still be part of the sports teams.” I tilt my head and frown, thinking. “Your statement implies that she won’t go to class…”

“We may… have decided you would have correspondence school?” Mom sounds insure.

Oh fuck. As if I needed to study. I am more clever than all my teachers reunited. If I didn’t want to stay with Max, I would have been graduated years ago. Maybe I would be already operating, who knows?

“It’s easier than having to cross all Angeles to go to high school.” Dad explains. “And since any of the high schools around want to take you Lex… we don’t really have the choice.” I wrinkle my nose. I am not that dangerous. Okay I go to school with a gun in my bag, but no one is supposed to know that. And okay I hide a knife under my dress when I wear one. I just want to protect myself, nothing more.

Then I remember that everyone thinks I am a pyromaniac. Except my sister and my parents, who MADE ME BELIEVE THAT THEY DIDN’T BELIEVE ME DURING TWO FUCKING WHOLE WEEKS. I WON’T FORGIVE THEM BEFORE A WHILE… unless they buy me a machine gun. I would forgive the worst things for a machine gun.

“Fine. We’ll do your correspondence shit.” I say. Max glances at me, astonished that I give up so quickly. “They’re not wrong. It’s not really a bad idea, Max.” She gets up and puts on a jacket she left on the armchair. “Okay, let’s move to the palace, if that’s what you want.” She takes her bag and the keys of my car -mom broke hers when she tested a new weapon, now she uses mine because the responsible doesn’t want to buy a new one. Max leaves the room without looking at us. “If you’re looking for me, I’ll be dumping Ken.” She says, slamming the door.

Mom and Dad look at each other, then at me. We’re all thinking about the same thing. “We celebrate that?” Dad asks.

“I order the pizzas!” I scream.

“I’ll take our best wine in the cave!” Mom walks away dancing. “She’s dumping the asshole! She’s dumping the asshole!” She sings, going to the cave. I can’t help a smile. Okay, maybe I am not that angry with them.

January 2nd

POV Maxime

I find Lex in our bathroom, debating with herself.

“Should I take my chanel products or do you think I can steal some at the palace?”

I groan. The palace, always the palace. It’s been like that for days now. I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to live there. Lex doesn’t seem to really mind. She thinks it’s better than going to Swendway. I still hesitate to follow the parents abroad, I didn’t tell her that. The idea of being locked in this golden cage for months… it drives me too crazy. I don’t think I can do that.

“Take your chanel stuff. You didn’t buy it for nothing.”

“True.” She agrees, and puts her products in vanity boxes. She has more vanity boxes than actual carboard ones I realize. I shake my head, but decide to help her. Maybe it will clean my mind.

We work in silence for a while, both thinking. I would like to talk about Brandon to distract myself but since she told me everything, she blushes and gets angry every time I try to broach the subject.

When the bathroom is empty, I realize how close we are to leaving. Tomorrow.

“It will be hell.” I tell Lex, talking about the palace, which she guesses easily.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, thinking. If I wasn’t so serious, I would tease her about Brandon.

She turns her head to look at me. “A beautiful hell.”

January 3rd

We are at the airport, saying goodbye to Mom and Dad. I am pretty sure Mom is about to cry, but she hides it with threatens. I have never seen her so imaginative about punishments. More she is telling, more the ideas seem to come out naturally. She is so inspired… It’s frightening. Even Lex doesn’t say anything.

Dad clears suddenly his throat. “Babe, we’re gonna miss our flight.” We look at the clock of the hall. Damn he is right. Mom and he hug us. “Please don’t make Mila too insane.” She says.

“Show we gave you manners for once.” Dad adds, which makes us laugh. “And no boys.”

We immediately step back, Lex ready to scream at this unfairness, but Mom winks. “I let condoms in your stuff.”

“Tracie!”

“You prefer that or being grandfather, Alan?”

Lex and I roll our eyes. It isn’t the first time they bicker about it.

“You’re insane.” Dad shakes his head.

“Just far-sighted. Have you looked at the guards recently ?” She shrugs..

“Does it mean you did?”

She shrugs again. Dad pretends to be offended. “Should I ask divorce?”

“C’mon, honey. You know no one makes me w…”

Lex and I don’t let her finish. “THE FLIGHT!” They were going to flirt in front of us. Ugh. Luckily they decide to leave, waving at us a last time. Lex gives them the finger, her way to tell she would miss them. Then she turns her head towards me, making a devilish smile. Oh no. No no no no. “Now, shopping!”

I moan, while she takes my hand to go to the shops of the airport.

Kill me.

I look at the bags around us. I try to understand why Lex thought she needed to bring all her closet to the palace. Or why she had to buy new lingerie just because there were sales.

Lex takes the bags and throws them on her way too big new bed. Her French Bulldog is sleeping on it and barks when she receives a bag on her head. Lex just shrugs, while I look around the room. All I can see is luxury. Okay it’s beautiful, but I already miss the simplicity of my home. I sigh. And I haven’t even spent one night here. These six months are gonna be a torture.

“Stop looking like an abandoned puppy!” Lex suddenly says, making me raise my head. “I’m not an abandoned puppy.” I mumble. She sighs and comes closer, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “It’s been three days, Max. And you are the one who dumped him. You can stop being sad.” I don’t even know why I am like that. Ken was an asshole. I shouldn’t have started dating him at first. “It’s better like that. Max.” She continues. No, not really. Now I wonder again what’s the problem with me. Why I am so nice, why I forgive so easily, why I don’t want to hurt people. It always leads me to shit.

“We’ll go to the shooting range tomorrow. It always makes you feel good.” She kisses my temple and goes back to her previous activity, smiling at me. I smile back, even if it is a little faintly. Lex is crazy most of the time, but she has also this sweet side that people ignore. She would kill them if they knew anyway. She likes it being a secret.

Lex searches something in a bag, suddenly smirking. “And you know what also makes feel good?” I don’t want to hear the sequel. “A makeover!” I groan. Everything is an excuse to buy clothes with Lex.

“I don’t need a makeover.” I complain. Forget the sweet sister part. She is actually awful.

“Yes, you do. At least an underwear makeover.”

“Lex!”

“Don’t lex me! You wear sportbras and boxers! As older sister, I have to save you from that!” I narrow my eyes. She always remembers me she is the oldest. Stupid 17 minutes.

“That’s very comfy!” I try to defend myself, but it’s too late. She hands me one of the bags. “Try them on, that’s all I ask.”

“You can’t keep them for yourself?” I ask desperate.

“I don’t wear D-cup!” She says pointing her breasts. She secretly complexes about her own size, maybe I should mention it and like that she’ll leave me alone? Uhm no. I’m too nice for that. Lucky Lex. I take my shirt off angrily and go to the bathroom, which is probably as huge as the room itself. Why must everything be luxury here? I’m afraid I’ll adapt to it too easily.

While I change, I can hear Lex in the room, talking to Barbara. I roll my eyes. She treats her dog like she would treat a baby. She even takes the weird mommy voice.

“Can I see? Can I see?” She suddenly asks me excited.

“No!” I don’t even want to look at my reflection in the mirror. I hate my body enough, no need to see it more than I have to.

“I’ll smash open the door if you refuse!”

“You have no strength Lex!”

“But I have guns!”

“You’re kidding? It’s just a bra!”

“Exactly! So now open!”

I open with a groan, just hoping it’s almost over. Lex applauses when she sees me, grinning. “You’re hot! Believe me, with that, you’ll soon forget your Ken!”

“With a bra?” I scoff.

She is about to answer when we are interrupted. “Hello? Anybody making that horrible noise?” A voice says from the corridor. Lex immediately frowns and leaves the bathroom screaming. “CAN YOU REPEAT?” I should maybe follow her to save the guy’s life. But her voice surprisingly calms down. “Oh, the piece of shit. I shouldn’t be surprised.” I close the door before Brandon can see me. He’ll comment the bra, I know it. This guy is such an idiot.

Nevertheless, after what happened between him and Lex the other day, it would be interesting to listen to their discussion. I press my ear against the door.

“Oh no…. Are you drunk again?” He asks.

“No, why are you asking ?” She answers with a confused voice.

“Because you’re in a palace room again? Maybe falling asleep on someone else’s floor for once?” I almost laugh. She is out of control when she drinks alcohol. I mean more than usual. I am not surprised she fell asleep in his room. She called me once from the attic of the neighbors.

“Sorry but it is my floor. For the next 6 months at least.” The reaction comes quickly.

“What?! This is not funny. Don’t joke about such things.”

Lex gets angry, I don’t know why. “I AM NOT JOKING!”

“Whose idea was this?!” Brandon says, panicked. I’ve never heard him panicked. Knowing Lex, she would ask me to make a tape to ridicule him later. “Why? Why next to my room!”

“NEXT TO YOUR- FUCK” I would need popcorn right now. It’s getting very interesting.

Unfortunately Brandon breaks everything and comes back to his usual behavior. “Oh so you already forgot? It didn’t mean anything to you?” This sentence is so ambiguous. What if Lex lied to me and they really had sex? I mean… you never know.

“They separated me from Max, I wasn’t really interested in where I was.” It’s maybe the truth -people really think that settling us in two different floors will be enough to prevent us from our tricks apparently-, but it doesn’t mean she can use me as excuse!

“I’m sorry to hear that, for you, but mostly my sake.” He answers sarcastically.

“She’s already here anyway. In the bathroom.”

Lex why? I was perfectly good here! I clear my throat. “Hey Brandon !” Okay now they are sure I was listening to them. Great.

“They can’t separate us.” Lex adds.

“Great, another.” I hear him say. Idiot. “At least you have a little restrained.” He says to me. Uhm… thanks? I decide to ignore him. “Lex give me my clothes back. I don’t want to stay with the both of you at the same time!” It’s time to withdraw.

“But you didn’t try on all the bras I bought you ! Did you see the one in red lace? I love it!” She. Did. Not. Dare. Not. In. Front. Of. Brandon. Jefford.

“WHY DOES THIS FAMILY ALWAYS HUMILIATE ME?” I scream in frustration. This kind of things always happens to me.

“Restrained you said?” She tells Brandon.

“Bras you said?”

And now they’re flirting?! Guys I am still here! Please have mercy!

“You won’t see them. But they’re really sexy.” She goes on. She wants my death I think. I swear tomorrow at the shooting range she’s the one I’ll shoot.

“SHUT UP LEX”

But they totally ignore me, too focussed on their flirty discussion.

“Surprising, honestly. But I still have no answer as to why you are here”

“That I have good taste in bras ? Anyway, mom and dad are gonna live in Swendway for 6 months and they decided we would stay here.”

“That you have taste at all honey.” And it keeps going. Do that when you’re alone, guys. “But now at least I know at whom I’ll have to file my complaints; uncle Alan.”

“Don’t call me honey!” Is all Lex finds as answer.

“And dad is already in the plane. It’s too late.” I add, to remember them that I am still here. I EXIST OKAY.

“And he had the idea. Mom wanted to let us live alone.” Lex finishes. Just saying but if mom trusts us on that, he could agree too. We are independent enough to live on our own. But I know he did that to be sure someone keeps an eye on us. As if it could stop us to do what we want.

“Yes, but you may not expect it, but I can write letters you know.”

Lex finally decides to give me my shirt back. She rolls her eyes at my irked face. “Oh, you can write?” She replies to him. I hold back a sigh. It will never end.

“I can do a lot of things, such as being a quiet neighbour. Can you?”

I put the shirt on and quickly go out of the bathroom. The ordeal is almost over. “She can solve an equation in her head, get angry quickly, lost herself somewhere even faster, sing and eating at the same time… but being quiet ? Certainly not.” In your face Lex.

“I was afraid so…” And in your face Brandon. Good luck with Lex! I wish you a lot of noise with her! Wait.. that sounds weird, even in my head.

“And don’t expect me to apologize.” Lex grins.

“If you do, I might be afraid you’re becoming sick.”

“It will kill me you mean.“

Brandon, who was blocking the door, moves inside, closer to Lex. Now I can leave. Finally.

“It’s too weird…” I start. Because yes, they need to know how weird they are together. Brandon and Lex… I can’t believe it. “If someone is looking for me I am on the roof.” I choose the roof only because Lex is afraid of heights and will never come there. The bra, Brandon and my other problems… that’s too much for me.

#happy birthday cass!!!#party 3 #and my first fic whoop whoop

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